Stewed fruit consists of hubarb, plums, apricots, strawberries and/or pears. I first came across this delicious breakfast item on my first 10 day silent residential retreat.

In mid-2014 I remember standing in my kitchen and asking myself if there was something more to life. I was tired of the mundane day to day schedule of work, exercising, chasing, and especially the chasing. I thought to myself "I have to do something different" and so I started planning my get away. As I searched I came across reading people's experiences regarding sweat lodges and decided that I would check it out. I ended up finding a sweat lodge in Costa Rica that performed ceremonies and flew down in December.

The experience was extremely intense and I knew that I didn't want to do this again because it took a toll on me. I remember contemplating "I have to be able access these states without these substances even if they are organic". After the retreat I waited in a hotel for my girlfriend and her son to arrive from their flight. I was surfing the web and ran across a quote by S.N. Goenka which stated "body sensations is the direct path to nibanna". I felt bewildered because I didn't quite understand. I started playing with body sensations trying to see what this was all about. After I picked my girlfriend and her son from the airport we drove down to the house that her sister and sister's husband rented. I starting getting up before everyone, around 5 am, and would sit for an hour or so on the balcony practicing breathing meditation. Below the balcony was a pool and around 530 am the pool jet would come on. One day after the jet came on the question "I wonder what the sound feels like at my ear." arose. I placed my attention at the ear and focused intensely. My attention began to fluctuate between the sensations at the ear and the sound at the pool. As my attention continued to fluctuate there was a brief moments where perception of a subject (me) and an object (sound of the jet) ceased. All what was left was the experience of sound. This happended 2 or 3 times where perception fluctuated between there being a subject/object and there being NO subject/object, only the sound. I then also realized that everything seen is at the eye. In other words, everything experienced is at our sense doors. From this direct experience I knew there was "something" to this technique and there was not turning back. This experience propelled me even deeper into searching.

As soon as I got back to Salt Lake City I started looking for meditation groups. I ended up going to about a handful of groups before I found one that really called to me. Two months later I decided to go on my first retreat which was a 10-Day (Goenka) Vipassana meditation retreat. I absolutely had no idea what I was getting into. The experience was powerfull and very traumatic. I was a mess for several months afterwards and thankfully I found DharmaOverground and a member on the message board directed me to do somatic work. So I found a somatic therapist and as time went on I continued to attend retreats. I even attended a 3 week retreat in Myanmar (January 2016) and ordained temporarily as a monastic.

So here I am now almost 4.5 years now later from that question "I have to do something different". It's been one hell of a journey and I am glad that a longtime friend (humor) accompanied me along the way.

I dedicate the merit of my practice and this site for the benefit of all beings to whom we are so intimately and inseparably connected. May all beings have happiness and the cause of happiness. May they be free of suffering and the cause of suffering.

~Nutmaste; The Crazy in Me Honours the Crazy in You